Too much thinking

Sustain This!

The strange thing about parenthood in this day and age is the constant intellectual connundrum (in my mind anyway). There are the stark contrasts between an excellent playdate and wondering what kind of future these fun kids are facing.

I find myself wondering if we really are on the precipice of something horrendous or if there is a way to turn things around -- at least to a large degree. Will the status quo still be the status quo 10 or 20 years from now, even five? Will our kids still be able to pursue careers in anything from new car sales to the entertainment business or will everything be different, all focused on survival and sustainability? Will current career paths be mute? Intriguing to ponder but frightening to really focus on...

And so I will no doubt keep doing what I'm doing, trying harder and harder to zero in on what is really important and building a solid foundation for my kids the best way I know how. I'll continue to try to be a better gardener and pursue avenues of sustainability education. I'll help my children to learn about recycling, conservation and the like. I'll ponder a Sustain This t-shirt line (quirky I know but maybe someday it will make sense).

For now I'm gonna take my mama brain and try to let go of all the heavy thoughts, shifting toward the task of getting my kids in the car, returning the Scooby Doo video I allowed them to indulge in and heading to my office for a few more hours of work on brochures, newsletters and press releases before coming back home to focus on my family again.

Last chance (for now)

O.K. I'm going to put in an order for prints to make up Norma's Hydrangea cards and if anyone else is interested this would be the time. I think I'll put the order in on Monday, July 2nd. If you want any cards, but particularly hydrangeas, let me know by this weekend as I probably won't be making any up after this batch until after vacation or maybe even after the craziness of back-to-school has settled... we'll see.

Make believe

Sometimes despite our best efforts to teach our children, I think we'd be better off to take a lesson or two from them.

Today as I sit in a foggy haze of Dayquil and caffeine, I'm thinking about make believe -- about how my kids manage to play through just about every sickness (except the ones they sleep off which are few) and the wonderful world of make believe.

I'm thinking of all the talk we adults do about what is wrong with princesses and barbies and pirates and the like. I'm thinking about how sometimes a princess is just a princess, an escape into sparkle and glitter and fantasy. Maybe today I should make believe I'm a princess, that instead of feeling hazy and stuffy, blucky and yucky, I'm glittery and shiny, pretty and ready to dance and spin. Maybe today I should make believe I'm a pirate, ready to take on the high seas (instead of crawling into bed), ready to be swarthy and swashbuckling instead of sleepy and sniffly.

Maybe I should make believe I'm a superhero who can fly above it all and be strong and capable even when I'm feeling little and incapable of much.

In the adult world, I've often heard that if we have a goal, a vision of what we want and hold that in our minds, then we begin to move our actual physical reality in that direction. And so for today, I'm going to meld my adult and childlike self. Today, I'm going to make believe....

What would you like to make believe you are today?

Summer lovin'

Remember that song... that movie, Travolta and Olivia Newton John? If not, get out and rent that darn movie. If so, enjoy a quick flashback moment with me. Either way, if you think this post has anything to do with that movie, "well-a, well-a, well-a, uh" you'd be wrong.

What this is about is the kind of summer lovin' moment when you just want to freeze your children in time for a little while to stay put in the good times. When you want to keep the inevitable shove or disagreement from happening. When you just love the heck out of 'em.

The best I can do to freeze my little ones in time is to preserve those loving moments... today it is here. So here goes... while playing Decorate the House with all the Blankets We Can Find, the girl says ... and I quote "Brother, you are a genius. You are a GEN-I-US. Brother... A genius you are." Gotta love 'em, especially when they're loving each other!

Here's to an all new summer of LOVE!

A must-y summer day

This morning: Must wake up. Must have more coffee. Must get dressed. Must go to work. Must eat breakfast of some sort. Must keep from getting sick. Must get boy off lap in order to achieve all previous musts.

This afternoon: Must pick up a few things at Trader Joe's if hubby hasn't already. Must try for last minute play date with boy's best friend before she's out of town through July. Might finish and put away ALL laundry (except hubby's)? Must attend final swimming lesson and requisite play session at the park when done. Will eat leftover pizza. Will watch "Mary Poppins." Must go to bed (see keep from getting sick above).

Then this weekend... what's on your plate (as opposed to in your wallet)?

Picture this

Norma has asked if she can get a set of hydrangea cards. "Why yes Norma, of course you can! Thanks for asking."

If anyone else is interested, the photo should crop like the one above. Also, since I'll no doubt be putting in a photo order, if there's anyone else who is wanting to order some cards, please let me know. More photo experiments, thoughts and ideas soon.

My stuff

Ever have those days where you are asking for just a few minutes to do "your stuff," only to realize that the stuff you are talking about is mowing the lawn, putting the laundry out to dry, cleaning the kitchen and watering the garden? That's where I'm at today. Better start thinking about planning some REAL me time. How's everybody else doing with summer break?

Breathing

Sorry for the delay in posting but frankly I've spent the last couple of weeks just trying to breath. Despite being busy with all the end-of-school, beginning of summer events and activities on the outside, on the inside I was just trying to take one breath - one step, one after the other.

For those of you who read my previous post, you'll be happy to know that the boy in question (whose father spoke of the nearness of death) is now breathing on his own with many a sign of recovery, albeit no doubt a long one. While many are not so lucky, it appears that in our world for now, death has taken a step back and life begins anew.

And so... summer break begins.

Death is near

Meet Cinderella. Cinderella Ballerina Squirrel. We met her today, at some point after her untimely (?) death, as she lay under a neighbor's car although apparently untouched by it.

The girl and I were compelled to move Ella (as we've taken to calling her) out from under the car, to decorating her with flowers from our garden "so that she doesn"t have to be alone," says the girl. We also selected a spot in our back garden (outside the fence, away from the dog) and dug a grave in which to bury our newly found, newly dead friend "so we can always remember her," said the girl.

All this in less than 24 hours after finding out that one of our son's classmates has recently and suddenly lost a parent and just an hour or so after reading the following:

"think me not morbid to be thinking of death. it is simply near."

These words were written by a friend of ours while he waits by his son's bedside, hoping the boy will wake up, hoping that his baby will be healthy ... sometime ... again. His words ring far too true. Sometimes the universe provides us with lessons of life, pain and death, new chances, healing and life. Sometimes we just need to listen and remember to love because what we have is the here and the now. Right here and now, I'm a little tired and weary of thinking about all of this, but I know that death and illness are as much a part of life as is birth. And I know sometimes we have to face it.

Oh happy day

Woke up this morning (Happy Birthday to me) to realize that our family's holiday curse continues! I'm sure lots of family's share this conundrum. This time I've got raging cramps (that "stop your period from ever coming" pill is beginning to look pretty good) and now the girl (who seemed perfectly well yesterday) has a fever and an extremely sore throat. Most likely today will be spent trying to get her into the Dr. hoping it isn't strep throat. Oh well. Overall we are healthy and happy and you can't ask for more than that.

Happy Birthday to my Bday mates: Tom Jones, Liam Neeson and Prince! Just bet they aren't having cramps - lucky them.

Pride on a rainy day

Although pride cometh before a fall, it also cometh after doing something well (or your kids doing so). As a mama, I notice that while lots of parents are capable of showing great pride in their kids -- who are able to express how proud they are when their children make a painting, tie their own shoe, get dressed on their own or whatever it may be, they may well struggle with being proud -- of themselves.

For me, it has been one of those kind of weeks when the reality of life has hit me hard. Suddenly faced with adult friends whose nephews, fathers and/or children are sick and their lives hanging in the balance... you realize just how lucky you are, just how trivial so much we worry and get frustrated about really is. Life begins to come back clearly into view for the gift it truly is and you take it for granted just a little bit (or a lot) less. Part of that is seeing our kids more clearly, seeing what they do well more clearly too and forgiving more of the rest.

As I hope and pray for the best possible outcomes for all the families struggling with the situations above, I notice more pride in my own children. I noticed their charming time on the way to school yesterday where they came together to construct a story about the princess (my daughter of course) being saved by multiple super heroes including Black Spider Man (my son) from the evil ogre and his apparent sidekick, President Bush. I kid you not!

I take pride in the fact that they behaved well for the babysitter (a close family friend) and even shared their ice cream with each other. The boy even tried to take it a step further. He told his Dad before bed: "I planned on saving some of the ice cream for you Dad, but it looked so yummy that I forgot."

This morning was a dream come true. The girl got some sparkly new underwear and therefore laid out her day's outfit the night before (including said sparkle-fabulous undergarment). The children raced each other to get dressed this morning and spent much of the rest of the time throwing each other kisses (we decided they tasted like mint chocolate chip and cookies and cream).

Being proud of my kids is part and parcel of being proud of myself and my family. Without mama and papa emphasizing the positive and downplaying the negative and trying again and again with different ways to be and to care for our young ones, we wouldn't be in a good space - we'd be struggling instead. But today, I am proud of all of us because our floors are pretty clean, our kids are beginning to sleep in their own beds and we are for the most part getting along. My advice for parents and other caregivers on this rainy NW day if you choose to take it, is this... be proud of your kids and be proud of your part in helping them be the best they can be. And no matter how much pride or frustration you may be feeling, remember to hug them, kiss them and love them for who they are (and who you are too)!

Pondering princesses

I have a friend with a blog (who doesn't these days) who was recently pondering princesses and their impact on little girls (and boys I suppose). The blog is called Green-Eyed Momster and I highly recommend it for all us mamas who are trying to figure out how to raise eco-conscious children in a over-the-top-consumer culture.

Just as I disdain pretty much all things Barbie, I'm not thrilled with the princess hype that takes over so many of our little girls to the point that they, like my daughter, say things like "I'm going to change my name to Cinderella!" Ugh. What messages are they absorbing, soaking up like moisturizer, deep into their skin?

If you've ever disliked the princess culture -- the pink, the sparkle, the shiny shoes, Ariel, Jasmine and Snow White and of course Cinderella, you may be just as thrilled as I was to discover my new favorite book...

"Cinder Edna" is one of the best children's books I think I've ever been lucky enough to run across (in the local coffee house if you can believe it). This book is over 10 years old which leads me to wonder where exactly I've been, but then again I've only recently truly entered the land of the Once Upon a Time as it pertains to the princesses and their kingdoms.

So what makes this version of the Cinderella story worth your very limited mama time (and your child's too)?

Here's the basic plot:

As neighbors, Cinderella and Cinder Edna are living pretty parallel lives. However while Cinderella sits and mopes about her misfortune in the cinders(thus her name), Cinder Edna makes the best of it learning new recipes and gaining life skills. While Cinderella whines and moans helplessly to her Fairy Godmother for help in getting to the ball, Cinder Edna finally pays off that elegant dress she has had in layaway and takes the bus. You've gotta love this Edna ... and you'll be happy to know that it is indeed Edna who lives happily ever after as a princess even an eco-friendly, sustaina-mama can love!

That time of year again

Well, it is that time of year again - my birthday. It has finally hit home with me that it is next week and I turn yet another year older. While I will admit to being an older Mama, I may or may not tell you just how old I'll be after Thursday (don't give it away if you know) -- depending on my mood. I will confess to being old enough to remember Laugh In, The Courtship of Eddie's Father, Pettycoat Junction and plenty of Disco!

The funny thing about me and birthdays is that I usually ignore them up until the very last second as if I don't even want to deal... but then I'll get upset if at least my closest family doesn't make a bit of a big deal. What that says about me -- other than that I'm not overly comfortable with growing old but do like cake, presents and attention-- I don't know.

So as I began to face the reality of yet another birthday, I began thinking about what I'd really like for this year's momentous occasion (other than it being on a weekend for a change)... and here's what I've been thinking would be magnificent:

• A trip to Brooklyn for a long weekend of beer and bonding with my little bro (of course it is nowhere in the newly discovered budget so that is probably a big NO GO),
• A tattoo (I'm really wanting one lately as I see all the newly uncovered skin with above 80 degree temps) - but what? and where (on my person that is)?
• A book about digital photography (so I can teach myself all the tricks of the trade and maybe just maybe finally feel close to fully competent),
• A sewing machine (newer than what I've got and with good solid tension) so that I can continue my fantasy of putting my photos on fabric patches on shirts along with a bunch of other projects.

Do I expect any of these things? No not really. Would I be thrilled if any of them came to me this year - yup I would. Would I also be happy with a few hand made cards and thoughtful gifts from the wee ones in my life and a surprise and some alone time with the hubby (maybe dinner and a good movie or some kayaking or a long drive in the county with wine and a picnic)... why yes I would. Happy Birthday to me. One sobering and yet positive way to look at birthdays as we get older is the following... 1) There's just about always someone older than you, and 2) If you aren't getting older, you are dead.

And just so you don't think I'm entirely morbid, it might help if you knew there's been a lot of talk about death around these parts of late. One of the preschool goldfish died recently and I try to talk with the kids about my father who died when the girl was still in the womb.

So today, the girl wanted to know when I was going to die. I told her no one really knows but I would be trying for about 90 years old if that was alright with her. She said "O.K." and "I'll love you even when you're dead." Thanks girlie... it is good to be loved (anytime).