Thursday, September 21, 2006

Fall back position

Fall is back in the great Northwest. It is usually my favorite season. I love the crackling leaves, the crisp coolness in the air, sweaters (the boy's new vest begins to take shape above), fires in the fireplace and cocoa too.

For some reason this season I'm having a hard time finding my bearings, getting my rhythm. I feel out of sync. It's not a surprise really, for me anyway. For the last several years (mostly once becoming a Mama), getting sick and spending days in bed really throws me off kilter. It seems like my world's been tossed in to a blender, mixed and strewn back out but now all discombobulated. It is harder to recapture the momentum. And even though I suppose I should be forcing myself to slow down a bit and understanding that I need the down time to rest, I see my list of to-do items growing by the minute and me getting further away rather than closer to their fruition.

I don't know about other folks but I just feel like I'm going through the motions: get up, have my coffee, make the kids breakfast, get us all dressed, go to school, meet for lunch, etc., etc... hoping to get my groove back (Stella can get her groove on, but I just need mine back). I realize that if I were a more structured or motivated, harder on my self (?) -- that maybe I'd just snap out of this but then again that's just not me.

The kids and their grooves are just fine - here they are playing an early morning game of put out that house fire before school! Blowing bubbles and watching my daughter's smile, coupled with her giggle is the closest thing I've found to feeling a bit back on track or in the groove. Gotta go for the giggles and let the kids lead me on the way back to normal. That... and go sweater shopping (used of course) :-)

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