Why so very sad?

I think there are multiple reasons people are devastated by the death of Michael Jackson at the age of 50 yesterday. For me, I realize he and his talent and family and music was a literal part of the fabric of my childhood.

I remember:

• Bringing my beloved Jackson 5 album in 4th grade to a last-day-of-school/birthday party,
• My mother selling my Jackson 5 albums without my knowledge at a garage sale and I was not a happy camper,
• A Michael Jackson album I wanted ore than anything for Christmas - and got it! Lo and behold my horror however when on Christmas morning with all the stores closed, I opened the cassette tape and found a Conway Twitty tape instead (inside a MJ cassette case),
• Going to the Kansas City Jackson 5 reunion tour! Amazing! Still have the ticket,
• Working for Solters, Roskin, Friedman PR in LA and the mountain of Michael Jackson press clips that had to be cut out of the newspapers and copied every day,
• Working for Epic/CBS records which was for a time his record company.
  

Truly he was an amazing talent (we all know that). He was also a sad figure who I hope is somehow finally going to have that childhood in heaven he was never lucky enough to enjoy here on earth. He was someone who proved that happiness doesn't always come with money and fame and things you buy. He was an integral part of some of our lives. He was famous and in some way in my life, a literal backdrop to my own childhood and young adulthood. He was always there and always famous -- and now he is gone.

Of course

So of course as soon as we got and set up our pool to keep the children entertained, the weather has gone sour... not supposed to be about 74 degrees for the next week at least. Not that it will stop my daughter from getting in.

Love thy kids

I just had to say how much I love my kids even though they can completely make me crazy. When visiting the dog shelter today, my daughter noticed a dead yellow jacket in a water bowl. We HAD to drag it out of the water, she HAD to examine it, she HAD to save it and dry it out, she HAD to glue it to the console next to her seat in the van - THAT's MY GIRL! Then tonight she told me in mystical tones about how much you can do with the sky... how you can connect the dots to all kinds of characters and animals so when you run out of paper, you can still draw. Gotta love her -- well at least I do.

Wish upon a star

Here's my fantasy birthday wish list:

These Keen Sandals:

This dog:

This bike

This bike accessory









If I was going really wild, I'd want either a hybrid car or a decent Subaru, some new clothes, that hair cut I know is out there but can't quite find, all new pretty teeth in the front and an Italian vacation complete with villa, wine, gelato, pasta and cannolis plus lots of walking, bike riding and site seeing, plus relaxing!

Not too much is it? I'd really settle for a lovely day at the beach much like Mother's Day or some other fun activity with my family but a girl can dream.

Lucky

This is the home of a very lucky fairy.

Lucky for us she lives right in our back yard. Lucky for me, the girl didn't actually wake up in the middle of night to see if the fairy would come out AND we managed to convince said girl that sleeping out in the tent overnight in the back yard would be better on the weekend than last night (she got this idea at about 7 pm)!

God love fairies and little girls!

Google Alerts are Good

Well... google alerts are good... turns out Gimundo.com is back and so they've reposted my one blog. Check it out: HERE

Rainy Days & Mondays...

Rainy days and Mondays usually do get me down (Thanks Boomtown Rats), but for some reason today, being a rainy Wednesday, made me tired but not blue!



Lucky for me, the puddles in our front yard were transformed by two six-year-olds getting soaked to the bone! Once the socks came off, all bets were off too.



I did find a bright spot in all this wet and gray - those azaleas are blooming close to one of my blueberry bushes that looks at least as though it just might make my life by actually producing some berries this year (stay tuned)!



And no matter what, happy garden flower keeps smiling! I could learn a thing or two from this garden sculpture (and heck, maybe I already have). Happy Hump Day!

It has arrived!

The most amazing wedding gift of all!

You are a fabulous seamstress Cathy! This is well worth any wait! I may have to start repainting the bedroom this very weekend to match.

Scott & I both say Thank You So Much!

Sick day or play day?

La Bella Luna (otherwise known as Tuna)

Miss Copper Penny (otherwise known as Penza)

Yesterday I took these pics, today I'm wondering about sick kids and sick days. What do you do when you think they are good to go back, there's no fever or obvious signs of sickness but they are complaining of a stomach ache and headache right before school?

Do you force them to go, despite tears and protestations, telling them they can go to the nurses office if they don't feel better later in the day?

Do you let them stay home, restricting them from fun stuff (like TV viewing, movies and computer time), but wondering all the while if they are just playing you for another day at home?

What's a parent to do?

More signs of Spring

I just never tire of these bleeding hearts!

Spring-spirations

Spring is inspiring in so many ways:


















Puppy Love...













Flower chains...

Mandolin lessons or a digital photography class - should I?

Super Soup

It is fall -- almost winter. There is a chill in the air and the leaves have all but fallen. We've had the first fire in the fireplace and tonight I was feeling like soup (well not me but rather feeling like eating some). I'd love to be a gourmet cook or at least a from scratch kinda mama but generally it doesn't happen. So I was proud of myself to have made not only oatmeal chocolate chip cookies but also from scratch vegetable alphabet soup. I sent the boys out to get some delicious crusty bread and make a meal of it. It was good (bland enough that the kids should like it) but of course they still complained while eating about half a small bowl. I should see it coming and expect it but alas I'm always the optimist hoping for them to love my homemade creations. Oh well... I added a little garlic and red pepper flakes to my bowl and it was fantastic.

What?

Anxiety sucks (and I mean that sincerely). So do preexisting condition insurance clauses.

Honorable mention

Best news I've had in a long time. The photo above actually won an Honorable Mention in this year's

Pro Photo Supply

2008 "Catch the Color" Photo Contest!

You can check out all the winners and honorable mentions here.

Just click on the tiny squares beneath the first photo you see for all of the great shots.

Crying time

I walked my daughter to her very last day of summer preschool yesterday. A lovely little walk just the two of us... where we get to talk about life and I get to practice my patience and she gets to check out EVERYTHING along the way. No more preschool. My baby is growing up. Kindergarten is right around the corner. I did not cry.

Last night I ordered my baby girl a new pink cover for her lunch box (that she'll need now that she is going to have to eat lunch at school). I wanted her to be half day but it just isn't going to work out that way.. I hit the order process button... I did not cry.

I see the end of summer coming and I kind of don't want it to end. We've had an imperfect summer but a good one nonetheless with lots of time for everyone to be together and have some fun. I think I'll miss the summer when the school year grind gets going, and yet thus far I have not cried.

So far I seem to be taking this "my baby is going to kindergarten" thing in pretty good stride.

In a few weeks, however, when I have to drop her off and not pick her up again until some 6 hours later, I think I just might cry.

Note to self

Branding really matters.

Call tonight's dinner "Fried Sun-Dried Tomato Garlic Polenta with Cheese and Traditional Sweet Basil Pasta Sauce" and they probably won't touch it.

Call it "Cheesy Fried Corn Cakes" and they will!

Surprises

Sometimes our kids surprise us -- and how we react can make a world of difference.

When our little bundles of joy come to us, we can try all we want but likely we have some expectations for who they are going to be, what they are going to like, the way they are going to be in the world. Sometimes we'll be close or even right, but often we will be as surprised and in awe.As parents, there are always good surprises such as our kids not asking for television for the entire summer break pretty much - phenomenal stuff believe me.Sometimes there are not so great surprises ... broken elbows, unexpected rage or seemingly unexplainable anxieties.

But what I love best as a parent are those surprises about who our kids are in the world that bring us along for the ride, for the discovery.
What am I talking about? I am rambling on about things such as my son's incredible love of sports -- I often say if there is a ball involved, my boy will be there and ready to play (although that does leave out hockey)! And that love of sports has actually pulled me in to the point that I, along with our entire family and a close family friend, watched EVERY GAME of the NBA playoffs this year, rooting for the Celtics and reveling in their victory. IT WAS FUN!

And my girl, well she is a wonder in her own right. I've grown used to her coming up with rhymes and songs for just about every occasion and on every possible topic (her stories and dances are quite clever as well). And I often remark that she somehow through osmosis got some "Missourian" in her because her mantra is truly "Show Me!" But even I was surprised when she badgered me to the point where we did indeed together dig up Cinderella Ballerina - extra points if you can remember her!

And what did we find on our scientific exploration - a skull! A little yucky yes but interesting, intriguing and enlightening - yes to that too.

Do you see those teeth? Amazing stuff trying to decipher and explain just what is happening to our beloved friend the squirrel.

Our children will always be parts of us and yet their own people too and it is nice on a muggy warm Summer's evening to revel in just who they are. Happy July - hope it is treating you well.

For the birds

Thanks to my son's end of year school lessons,
we've been noticing birds lately.

These little cuties have been visiting fairly often.
Aren't they cute!

Silence

Sorry to have been so silent of late but sometimes it is just what one needs to do. I don't know about anyone else but there are definitely times in my parenting life when things just get a little "too much" with too many things to be dealing with and my brain is so busy dealing with all the little and big details that I can't process or formulate my thoughts about what is happening.

Needless to say we've been busy with job searching, finishing up the preschool years, dealing with sensory integration issues and other behavioral stresses that may or may not naturally come from all of the above. And may I just say how completely messed up medical insurance/health care really is in this country! Throw out tons of dollars and get very little if any care for your expense... beyond frustrating.

Who knew that on top of being a parent/teacher/chef/maid, etc. we would also have to be detectives ever vigilant trying to piece together all the many symptoms and issues our kids display and decipher in which direction to then go to best support them in their growth and success? The next big reality show should be Parenting CSI (Childhood Scene Investigation). Are the tantrums just the developmental stage but a bit more intense due to Daddy being home all the time and Mommy's schedule being changed around? Is the fear of bugs just a blip on the radar screen, a bigger issue related to sensory process disorder or the onset of a potential obsessive disorder? How long do you wait to seek supports and then in which direction do you go?

I am hopeful that within a few months although we will have lots of changes (the start of kindergarten, moving upstairs to 3rd grade, Dad finally graduating), things will sort out a bit and we'll move forward with a plan toward some sort of success. For those parents, along with myself, in a bit of a current struggly patch, hang in there and keep looking for those clues. A wise internet associate recently sent me a reassuring note and quoted a psychologist who had this to say, "This is a process and it is proceeding. The answers are coming." Amen to that!

When Mother's Day Bites the Dust

Despite all the pretty cards and well wishes, sometimes Mother's Day just bites - big time!

Either no one ever talks about it (cause they hope the bad memory will just go away) or they are afraid they are the only one to have experienced less than happy mama moments on our big day.

I want to open this up for discussion... if you've had a less than stellar Mama's Day, will you share to free the rest of us from the delusion that it is always going to be flowers and happiness? What about when you'd love to take a family hike, but your oldest is JUST TOO AFRAID OF BUGS? Maybe it is just like wanting to have a secret admirer or someone send you a card or those coveted flowers on Valentine's Day when you are single but nothing comes. Maybe we should all expect less or should it be more?

For this Mama this year, so far my day started with sleeping in (that's good), followed by waking up to a whining, screaming, moaning boy who was just too hungry to handle his timeout (for what I don't even know). My husband had made my daily iced coffee (that's good). No other breakfast was to be had (that's bad). Best laid plans had gone off kilter as the kids refused to dress. They had made a few handmade Mama cards (sweet) but one kids gift was still hiding in our van forgotten and the other had been left at school -- handmade gifts from school are wonderful but somehow this year they just didn't make it into our home for the day of celebrating mamahood.

After the kids and Dad went out for awhile, emails ensued and they were off to get the groceries needed for a special Mama's dinner. While they managed as a team to get a gift of some kind (it is still hiding in the aforementioned van as the girl has been in meltdown mode). The grocery store run never happened 'cause the kids were too busy whining and throwing fits over what they were gonna get for themselves (makes a mother proud :-{). The girl miraculously managed to find a way out of her full-throttle tantrum mode, so we shall see what happens from here.

So there you have it. I bought myself a small gift ($5.00 shirt from the resale shop) and I'm considering taking the dog for a long walk, having some chocolate covered sunflower seeds and if things melt down further taking myself alone to a free movie (we've got some coupons we've been meaning to use). Happy Mama's Day Indeed!

Now if we think about it, no doubt our parental celebration days are just the same as the other biggies for the rest of the world... there are regular articles written on how to handle the letdown which often accompanies the winter holiday season - so why not Mother's or even Father's Day? And like every other holiday and its accompanying expectations, sometimes it's gonna feel just like a Hallmark Card commercial and sometimes more like a day in the bottom of Oscar the Grouch's trash can -- true to the nature of parenthood.

Here's hoping Mother's Day treated you well today ... and if not, remember that tomorrow is another day.

No Fair - Really!

For all of us oldest siblings (that's me above, oldest on the left) who love our younger sibs (that's my baby bro above, youngest on the right) but have always felt we were somehow treated less fairly... we finally have scientific proof (we were right all along)! Hmpf!

Now for those of us who have our own kids, are we doing the same thing to our young ones or have we somehow bucked this national trend? Is our oldest showing signs of being the more responsible one (if they have any brothers or sisters) or not? Mine currently is, but will it continue?

Were you a 1st born or a younger sib? How did it play out for you as a sibling and/or a parent?

Thankful Thursday

Thankful this Thursday for:

• May Day Flowers
• Great Teachers
• Iced coffee
• Hummingbirds
• A few good possible job leads
• Rescue Remedy and Calms Forte
• Great parents in our school communities
• The chance every new day represents to improve
• Ice cream
• A good camera