For as long as I have been aware of the existence of Peter Gabriel as an artist, I think I have loved him. Not so much the person or the persona but rather the incredible music and the talent. That is without a doubt why my son's middle name is Gabriel. And it may well begin to explain why I've been haunted by the song, "I Have the Touch" since I heard it in the car two days ago. I keep hearing "I want contact, I need contact" over and over in my head.
In thinking about this, I've come to realize that I DO want contact but not with Mr. Gabriel himself but rather with someone who can finally help me get a handle on what's going on right now for my son. He regularly complains of tummy aches when confronted with going to school but can devour with zest a full breakfast bar just moments later and he almost always ends up going to school and seemingly enjoying every minute of it while succeeding and progressing well in reading, math and friendships.
I also think that because this is hard and because I'm around THAT age (whatever that is)... that I've been reaching out or seeking out to see what's happened to folks I used to know way back when... "Why?," you might ask and I'll tell you. Well... one thing is definitely the strange tendency for me to hear "I Want You To Want Me," in the car just about every time I get in to go anywhere lately. That song and any other by Cheap Trick immediately brings up that time in my life, along with myriad images of release parties, video shoots, bars, tour buses, concerts, hotel rooms and frankly 3 out of the 4 of them at some point in their scivvies (Cheap Trick that is)! Other than flashbacks of Tom, Robin, Rick and Bun E., to the best of my mind's ability to figure it out... my psyche keeps yearning to go back to an earlier time in my life (to at least the good memories of course).
Living in New York City during my twenties, working in the music business around lots of creative types, musicians and single folks, these were the days when I was relatively care free. I was young, attractive enough to turn a few heads (even a few rocker "boys") and my biggest worry was about getting a date or which bar to hang out at after work. It wasn't really all that simplistic (I did of course have my overthinking brain even then) however... I didn't have the responsibilities, concerns and worries of a mother. And so I keep visiting those silly, exciting, sometimes downright stupid days of innocence and hanging with the famous and near famous, remembering my friends and the memories while making new memories with my beautiful children and family now. I think I'm revisiting while storing up my energies and strengths to move forward in some strange kind of mid-life crisis/New Year cleansing ritual. 2007 should definitely be interesting.