The funny thing about me and birthdays is that I usually ignore them up until the very last second as if I don't even want to deal... but then I'll get upset if at least my closest family doesn't make a bit of a big deal. What that says about me -- other than that I'm not overly comfortable with growing old but do like cake, presents and attention-- I don't know.
So as I began to face the reality of yet another birthday, I began thinking about what I'd really like for this year's momentous occasion (other than it being on a weekend for a change)... and here's what I've been thinking would be magnificent:
- A trip to Brooklyn for a long weekend of beer and bonding with my little bro (of course it is nowhere in the newly discovered budget so that is probably a big NO GO),
- A tattoo (I'm really wanting one lately as I see all the newly uncovered skin with above 80 degree temps) - but what? and where (on my person that is)?
- A book about digital photography (so I can teach myself all the tricks of the trade and maybe just maybe finally feel close to fully competent),
- A sewing machine (newer than what I've got and with good solid tension) so that I can continue my fantasy of putting my photos on fabric patches on shirts along with a bunch of other projects.
Do I expect any of these things? No not really. Would I be thrilled if any of them came to me this year - yup I would. Would I also be happy with a few hand made cards and thoughtful gifts from the wee ones in my life and a surprise and some alone time with the hubby (maybe dinner and a good movie or some kayaking or a long drive in the county with wine and a picnic)... why yes I would. Happy Birthday to me. One sobering and yet positive way to look at birthdays as we get older is the following... 1) There's just about always someone older than you, and 2) If you aren't getting older, you are dead.
And just so you don't think I'm entirely morbid, it might help if you knew there's been a lot of talk about death around these parts of late. One of the preschool goldfish died recently and I try to talk with the kids about my father who died when the girl was still in the womb.
So today, the girl wanted to know when I was going to die. I told her no one really knows but I would be trying for about 90 years old if that was alright with her. She said "O.K." and "I'll love you even when you're dead." Thanks girlie... it is good to be loved (anytime).