The summer has really taken me away from blogging. I'm busy trying to keep the kids entertained, figure out how to keep my daughter's 4 1/2 year old tongue in her head instead of pointing at me, seeing if there is a reason for my son's multiple quirks and/or behavior issues and trying to manage my own (can you say it is definitely time figure out how to stay calm and not engage in the kids' dramas)?
I have often thought I must be the world's worst parent (but of course I know sadly there are many far, far worse than I). On the other hand, I usually eventually realize that my kids are well... special. While all kids are special, it is easy to forget that our son has some special needs because he's always been ... well... frankly... borderline - normal.
And so in the process of all this frustration, there is an occasional discovery - a thought that maybe just maybe we can find some sort of explanation that will help us to provide him with what he needs and not feel so in the dark. This week has been such a week and so for now, we are exploring the concept of sensory integration. Hope to know more once we can get an assessment.
As for the artist's Mama, she is working hard to provide positive reinforcement -- to see stomping off in a huff as a first step towards personal anger restraint and to be a cheerleader for all my children do well. It isn't always easy to take a step back and remember to reinforce the good... and harder still to ignore some of the bad (to take the emphasis and reward away). However I feel strongly that finally ... the time is now.
I am working hard on my part... this week, I started with a brisk walk (alone) from our house to the top of Mt Tabor (local Portlanders will know what I'm talking about) which is more exercise than I've had since birthing my children I think. The next day we biked as a family to the local farmers market for fresh fruits, veggies and flowers. The day after that I limited my caffeine intake and did yoga. It's been 2 full days of no yelling (well at least not Mama) -- wish me luck... this ain't easy but I'm giving it my all.
As we inch closer to back-to-school, I hope to inch back to more photo taking, more thoughtfulness, less yelling and household chaos, more blogging and more peacefulness. Namaste!