Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Terrific Tuesday

I think as a parent it is all too often easier to see what isn't working rather than what is but I'm giving it my best shot.

When I try to think of things that are "working" in terms of parenting and our household, I feel a bit like I'm channeling "Super Nanny" at one of her parent meetings, while she plays back what's been happening while she's away. There's inevitably a couple of good heart-warming moments, and then usually the moment of truth, the uh-oh, the "there's what we need to work on" clip.

And speaking of Super Nanny. I still love her although I notice either she's getting more confrontational or her staff is recruiting people and coaching so that the situation arises more frequently - makes for good TV and ratings I'm expecting. Good thing the kids are usually not in the room. Also speaking of JoJo, after the last episode with the laughing mother, there are a couple of things I want to try... sounds silly but we've been working on dinner time rules and table manners and I just might make the goofy looking paper flower centerpiece that outlines what you can and cannot do while eating a family meal. A recent episode (or several no doubt as she tends to use the same techniques over and over in differing forms) featured a reward system based on putting things into a bucket or bottle or some such thing for good behavior and taking them out only for really bad, thereby putting the focus squarely on all things good in the behavioral realm. Since it is easy for our girl to get caught up in a spiraling tantrum/anger/bad behavior spiral, I thought this one is probably worth a try but now I can't find it on Super Nanny's website - hmph.

Back to terrific:

  • Catching my own moods and squelching them can often stop an impending storm,
  • Challenging (or sneakily moving them in the direction) to work as a team,
  • Being as calm and repetitive as I can be with the girlie,
  • Explaining calmly and rationally (when the wee ones can be calm and rational) why we do what we do or why we ask that they do them too,
  • Allowing them to be part of the conversation and the solution whenever feasible (especially older boy).
  • Demonstrating for the kids just how to do some things themselves that they want us to do for them (this one is hit and miss but any hits are good)!
And so that is what is working (at least partially) terrifically around these parts, but unlike Super Nanny, I'm going to turn off the DVD player now and leave the bad times for another time.

If you are a parent of young ones, what really seems to support them in behaving well?

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